Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Perfect Relationship...

...is the one where you're both loved, honored, cherished, and respected. You try to let them know they're appreciated every single day, whether it's a large gesture like breakfast in bed, a picnic under the stars, or a romantic surprise, or a small one, like a backrub, a "honey you just relax and unwind, I'll take care of dinner/laundry/whatever-it-is-that-needs-to-be-done," or that look, the one that says "you make me the happiest (wo)man on the planet." Those three little words are a wonderful way to show it.

You laugh together every day, and do your best not to go to bed angry. The relationship is based on respect, and is about 90% friendship. That other ten percent? An amazing physical bond. Compatibility in the bedroom (or on the couch, or in the kitchen, or wherever else) that leaves you seeing stars. You know exactly how they like to be touched, they have the same dirt on you, and you both revel in sending chills up each other's spines.

It's not always smooth sailing, but you handle your problems like adults, and work to find solutions that keep everyone in a good place. And once you've done that, the issue is put to bed. You don't rehash past fights, you trust the other person to have done their part to avoid repeating the problems in the future and move on. You put the relationship before the individuals, because what's good for the team is good for the team members. And you really are a team. You know that you'll always have each other's backs in any situation, even if you think they might be in the wrong. You'll tell them that behind closed doors, but everywhere else, you're a demonstration in solidarity and loyalty.

You both work hard to keep things fresh and fun. In fact, you both work hard in any area that needs it. You're not afraid to roll up your sleeves, because you know that by doing so, you're earning the happiness that you've enjoyed with them. You take risks, 'cause the thing is, if you truly love each other and understand how to make relationships work, they're not really risks at all, even if everyone else thinks you're gambling.

You do all of these things for the rewards they bring and the satisfaction of knowing how happy you're making this amazing, amazing person you're so lucky to be with. The rush you get from putting a smile on their face is second only to the butterflies you have anticipating doing it. You do everything you can to be happy together, because you know, to one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies, that "the juice is worth the squeeze." And? It really is.

6 comments:

Kat Wilder said...

Very beautifully put. I want to believe that's possible — for a while I thought I had it — but I don't know many who, after 20-plus years of marriage plus kids can or do keep it up.

I think your mention of risks is really important (I'll have a column about that in two weeks), although the way I put it is: you trust yourselves, as individuals and as a couple so much that you are able to feel free within the relationship — with boundaries you both set and feel comfortable with, honestly.

To me, love expands, it doesn't limit. And it demands that you be more.

lightninghank said...

GUILTY pleasure?! Aint no guilt about it, it's just a great movie. A nice mix of romantic & pervy, just like me...

Anonymous said...

No risk, no reward.

You're definitely on the right page with that idea.

Hope you find someone like that someday (and damnit, hope that I do too!)

Lana said...

I LOVE this line: "The rush you get from putting a smile on their face is second only to the butterflies you have anticipating doing it." So true when you really love someone...

SarahLeigh said...

I like that line too, Lana. Ahhh, The Girl Next Door. Such a delicious piece of filth of a movie. I have it on DVD of course.

*sigh*

Just waiting to meet someone I feel like this about again.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

I kept waiting for that movie to be bad or predictable, and it kept being ... good. Crazy stuff.

Also, good job with the rest of the post, which I totally read. Promise.