Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Flowers Suck

Ok, so Valentine's day was last week, and after a few conversations with female friends, apparently something needs to be reiterated for the men of the world.

Don't buy flowers for girls you barely know. And by "flowers," I mean "flower deliveries, jewelry, vacations, or any other expensive or romantic gifts," but I'm just gonna use "flowers" from here on out to encompass all of that stuff.

Seriously, they should make a law. You don't buy things for someone you've known and/or dated for less than, say, three months or so. Granted, guys who truly understand these things can break the rules, and three months is kind of an arbitrary timeframe that doesn't alway apply, but if we make it three months firm, the men who don't get it won't screw things up this way anymore.

You see, the problem is the motivation involved. You should do romantic things or give a woman a gift because you want to make her feel special. You want to make her smile. No other reason. If you do these things because you want her to think you are special because you're the type of guy who does them, you're going about it all wrong and she's gonna see right through it. Would you pay a girl to have sex with you? If not, why in the world would you try to buy her affection with gifts? It's pretty much the same thing. If a woman doesn't already think you're a special guy, it won't mean anything to her. In fact, it will come of as you treat every girl this way, there's nothing special about her, and you're desperate.

Bottom line: Earn a woman's affection and high regard for you first. Recognize her uniqueness, and let her see yours. Once you've done that, you can send all the flowers you want.


Other News:

Yes, I know, I've been slacking off. Work and outside-work-life have been extremely busy lately and it's been hard to find time (or inspiration) to write here. I think I'm back on track now, so keep reading.

10 comments:

Lisa said...

Yay! Finally! If I pulled up your blog and read "Hi, my name is LMNTt, and I'm an addict." one more time I was going to scream.

Miss Scarlet said...

Haha, I kept wondering if bloglines wasn't working. I, too, kept pulling up the "Hi, my name is LMNT..." too. Hahah!


I'd take flowers. Bring 'em on!

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened with you and "chemistry girl"? Was there a second date?

OC said...

I was always told that expensive jewelry or "flowers" as you call them early on in a relationship (3-4 month range) was a sign a man was serious about getting serious. This probably only holds true for the men you've described as the ones who "get it."

SWF41 said...

Especially the single flowers guys always want to buy you when you're in a club. Please stop. What the hell are we supposed to do with those things all night? They either lie on the table, forgotten and drying up, or they get smushed under a drink or purse, or they get left there at the end of the night.

Buy me a drink. Skip the flower.

Carrie M said...

i think it's really funny how sending flowers is still in the male conscious (sp?) as a romantic gesture. i mean, don't get me wrong, it *is* a romantic gesture, but it mostly happens in the movies doesn't it? who even does that anymore?!

Velvet said...

Uh, I have a bf who sends flowers. And I hate flowers. HATE them. Seriously. Send me batteries. I'll get more use out of those. Wait. Uh oh.

DC Cookie said...

The same should be said about buying things for a woman you're no longer dating (in a sad attempt to win her back).

Belle said...

Okay, I know I'm a little late (sue me, I just found your blog this week!), but I thought I'd chime in...

A friend recently dated a guy who brought her flowers on their first date... and every subsequent date. It got old really, really quickly. He's definitely one of the ones who didn't get it. After a short and not-at-all serious courtship and as she was "breaking up with him," he asked her to move with him. Um, yeah...

Loverville said...

Another late post!

One time on a first date, a guy brought me a box of cannoli -- we had talked a lot about food on the phone, and he mentioned that he lived near the best cannoli place in the city.

I thought it was thoughtful, but did it make me like him more? No.