What Do Guys Really Want?
That was the title of a Google ad in my mail today. Since a lot of my communication from this blog revolves around dating and questions about guys, Gmail seems to think I'm a woman. Reading the ads is like a sneak peek into the other team's tactics.
I've gotten a lot of questions about what guys want, and I've read a lot of blogs that seem to wonder, so let me lay it all out for you here. Got a guy you like? Show him you're this girl and he'll be hooked forever.
- A GreatWoman is passionate about something. It doesn't matter what. Do you volunteer for a cause? Do you have a hobby that makes your eyes light up when you discuss it? Are you a writer, musician, or other creative type? If there's something that you devote your time to that you either 1) really believe in, or 2) seriously invest in emotionally, you've won big points.
- A GreatWoman knows her value. She's special, and she knows it. Not arrogant or full of herself, but she understands that she's a great catch and is proud of who she is. She probably turns down a lot more guys than she accepts, but values a guy who's as great as she is.
- A GreatWoman has a life. She's got a good group of friends who are also GreatWomen and GreatGuys. She doesn't sit at home alone on a Saturday night when she doesn't want to, but she's secure enough to stay in when she does want to without feeling like a loser. The key here is that the guy she's interested in isn't the only thing she's got going on.
- A GreatWoman makes time for the right people. Like I said above, she's busy, but she will make time for a guy she likes. She doesn't play the "I'm too busy" game, she just is busy. She'll set aside time to hang out with someone deserving instead of letting things fizzle because she knows he will make her life even better than it already is.
- A GreatWoman lets a man pursue, but with encouragement. Guys like the chase. We like to woo a girl and win her over. She'll let him. She won't be coy, though -- the GreatWoman expresses her interest, because she knows if a GreatGuy invests too much without much reciprocation, he'll move on. He's usually not hard up for dates, either. She'll lay back just enough for him to make the effort, but she'll eagerly return the ball that's in her court. And if he seems to be backing off, she'll show a little more interest to make sure he's not reading the wrong signals. She wants to be pursued, but also wants to be caught, so she won't make it too terribly difficult.
- A GreatWoman lets him be a man. We all know you're fully capable of killing spiders, assembling furniture, and reaching things on high shelves. That's a good thing. But we like to do these things for you, because it makes us feel like we're taking good care of you. I've heard y'all like it, too, so when we're around, ask for help. We'll both just pretend you can't open that jar by yourself. ;-)
- A GreatWoman flirts well. Banter is important -- it keeps things fun and keeps that sexual tension in play. A girl that can take a little teasing and give it right back to him will have better relationships and get more enjoyment out of them. Been together for 2 years? Great. Don't stop flirting. Chances are it's a big part of why you've gotten that far.
- A GreatWoman is highly sexual. She doesn't have arbitrary rules or guilt issues. She's a great kisser who truly enjoys all things physical. She has a high libido and skills in the bedroom, and expects no less from her partner.
- A GreatWoman is not afraid to be vulnerable. She doesn't rush into commitment, but won't hesistate to make one when the time is right. She understands that everyone has flaws, and those flaws are part of what makes her unique. She doesn't hide them. The right guy will find them endearing. And if he doesn't, he's not the right guy.
- A GreatWoman is expressive. Once she's comitted to the right man, she makes sure he knows why. She encourages him in everything he does, and reminds him often of how crazy she is about him. She expects the same in return.
This is just about every guy's fantasy woman. It also leaves a lot of room for her individuality to shine -- no two GreatWomen are the same. If this is who you are, you'll never be at a loss for dates and you'll never be lonely. Make sense?
10 comments:
"And if he seems to be backing off, she'll show a little more interest to make sure he's not reading the wrong signals."
Hear hear.
I think many women are so programmed now to presume that "he's just not that into you" and move on, when in reality we get interpret coyness or whatever you want to call it (coughplayinghardtogetcough) as disinterest.
No games. If you're interested, show it.
I have to apologize. I read the title and heard Jeff Foxworthy in my head.
"We want a beer and to see something naked."
It took me a minute to focus on your excellent post. Now...I'm off to kill a spider.
I also heard Jeff Foxworthy in my head. :-)
I've got the passion and the flirting thing down-sweet.
I did not hear Jeff Foxworthy, phew.
Um, these are all me. Hence, I am perfection...oh c'mon:
I'm just kidding but I do possess most of these qualities to a tee but many guys just can't handle my innate weirdness...
I am proudly weird. Woooot hooot!!!!!
And unfortunately...many guys nowadays are NOT ok with how many friends I have even when I make plenty of time for a significant other...for me friends are on equal par with a boyfriend. Some disagree but thats always going to be my way. My friends/family are my other loves.
I-66 -- Amen, brother. Hard to get is a negative. Not necessarily a dealbreaker, but frustrating as hell. It'd be so much better if people just tried to make a connection without worrying about how to "play" it.
SWF41 -- If only there was someone around you could ask.
Beth -- You, too? I've honestly never heard the Jeff Foxworthy thing.
NotCarrie -- Yeah, you're a pretty decent flirt. ;-)
Kassy -- Some guys are insecure. Some aren't. When are we going out?
the trick here is finding the great guy in the right place/right time thing. just like we know us GreatWomen are out there (ahem...), there have to be GreatMen. but finding each other is a little bit harder, unfortunately. b/c you can *be* all of those things, but if you don't have the attention of the right guy, then you're on your own.
decent? I do my best work in person, buddy.
Good list! Even though I'm an old married lady, I'd like to be all of this things for my husband.
PS thanks for delurking on my blog :)
Hee hee. Maybe you should try dating older ladies, LMNT. We're definitely GreatWomen :)
nice post.
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