Monday, January 22, 2007

Breaking News: Area Man Still Single

FAIRFAX COUNTY, VA Jan 22 -- LMNt L. Attraction, 27, an attractive local man, is still single, sources close to the eligible bachelor tell us. Area residents are shocked to learn that since ending a two year relationship in early May of 2006, Attraction has had several dates and a few short-term flings, but nothing that has developed into a substantial, lasting relationship.

"I'm amazed. He's a really great guy -- cute, funny, genuinely interested in others, and he always has these cool little stories about what he's been up to lately," says neighbor Emily FromNextDoor. "If I wasn't already married, I'd probably try to snap him up myself. Sometimes I even wait to get the mail or pick up the newspaper until I see him out there, just so we can chat for a minute."

That sentiment was echoed by women from Attraction's past. When reached for comment, ex-girlfriend Melissa MovedAway, 26, who dated Attraction for ten months in 2001, she had this to say.

"You mean LMNt is single? Seriously? He was a great boyfriend, and really good in bed. And he can play the guitar, that's totally hot. Tell him to call me. Moving back to DC wouldn't be so bad."

When asked to speculate on why he hasn't settled down with anyone lately, friends and family seem conflicted. Howard Roommate, who shares a five bedroom house with Attraction, says, "he always seems to have beautiful women around, but I guess he's holding out for the right one. His last girlfriend was a total catch, and people used to tell him at least once a week how lucky he was to have found her. I think he wants to feel just as lucky with the next one." Close friend Tiffany DrinkingBuddy adds, "he's made a lot of new friends in the past six months, and he goes out socially a lot more than he used to. I think he's enjoying the single life. Sure he'd like to meet a great girl, but he's happy with his current situation. He definitely doesn't need a girlfriend."

It seems they're both right. When asked to comment, Attraction said, "Why am I single? I don't know, I guess I'm holding out for the 'total package.' I've met some girls with real potential lately, but they either had something going on that was a dealbreaker for me, or the timing wasn't right. I'm having a lot of fun right now, and having a great girl who can enjoy that with me would be really cool, but if she's going to make my life less interesting or fun, I'm going to keep looking. It's not like taking some time off and waiting for the right one will kill me or anything. Life is good, and I want someone who makes it even better."

This reporter thinks he's right. To learn more about this story, contact Mr. Attraction via email at lmntalattraction (at) gmail (dot) com.

Other Notes:

These two posts are well written, thought provoking, and pretty awesome in general. They also cover a subject that's been on my mind a bit lately. Check'em out.


NotCarrie said...

At least you're having fun in the meantime, you know? Like the article stated, Attraction is being social still, which is key.

Ar-Jew-Tino said...

Maybe it's the gonorrhea.

No one's going to read this, right?

Ally said...

Very cute. And amusing. And I generally hate conversations about why people are still single, especially when people who don't know me ask why I'm still single. It's just an asinine question, but at least it has a simple answer; I've not met the right guy yet.

But ar-jew-tino might have the right idea. Maybe a stock answer about God's timing should be replaced with "Ever since I contracted herpes, I've had a hard time getting dates. Do you think that might be it?"

Kristin said...

What a fun entry! :) A very enjoyable read, for sure.

Now, I don't mean to offend you, but I am still floored by how highly you think of yourself. I'm not saying that you don't deserve the hype (that would be completely unfounded), but damn! Ohh...what I could do with that kind of self-esteem ;)

jamy (grateful dating) said...

Kristin's comment made me chuckle because I had a very similar response to this post. I enjoyed it and it made me laugh, but I couldn't imagine writing something similar. I would fear the smack down.

Carly Simon said...

Single?! The bigger question is: Why hasn't a staute been erected in your honor? Or, more importantly, when will Hallmark get around to giving you your very own holiday? You very obviousy deserve one. I've never read about one so awesome with so little recognition. It's an outrage!

Kelsey said...

do you go on about your "total package" ex-girlfriend to potential dates the way you do here? the references seem to be adding up quickly. sounds a lot like you either need to date her again or put away the pine-sol and let it be.

a little modesty wouldn't hurt either. this post on its own is one thing, but i'm sensing a mounting ego that's starting to become comical, and not in a good way.

DCWeddingPhotog said...

awwwwwh. :-) Very very sweet. It'll happen.

LMNt said...

Wow, I had no idea this would offend y'all so much. Are you actually taking this seriously? The Onion is coming to D.C. and since I was excited about it, I figured I'd construct a tongue-in-cheek (and apparently failed) homage. Take a deep breath.

Oh, and Ar-Jew-Tino, tell your girlfriend she's not spanking you enough. ;-)

nicole d. said...

I think that maybe not everyone gets your sense of humour LMNT. You are just sooooo cute! We would not be reading your blog if we did not find you amusing. And to anyone who may have been offended, I think we should all take a dose of giving ourselves some praise. If we don't who will?

work in progress said...

Sheezum. I didn't comment when I read this post but it did give me a chuckle. I didn't for a second think you were being cocky or full of yourself, just amusing. It was well written and an enjoyable read. I was as floored by the comments as you.

People are funny. Self confidence is a attractive characteristic, I don't care what anyone says.

Anonymous said...

Lol very clever idea for a post.

Having fun in your current situation and being happy with it is the most important thing. :)

LMNt said...

NotCarrie -- Not complaining. I'm actually pretty happy right now.

Ar-Jew-Tino -- See my other comment above.

Ally -- I may have to try that.

Kristen -- This was a bit on the sarcastic side. I'm definitely more modest in the real world.

Jamy -- I know you now, you don't have to identify yourself. :-)

Oh, and I fear no peanut gallery.

Carly -- Wow, you're like, the coolest chick on teh internets! Maybe I should date you!

If you want to have an adult conversation about it, you have my email address.

Kelsey -- Much like everyone else who blogs, what you see here is a very limited piece of my personality. In some ways, it's a character I play on the internet. I think you'd find me quite different (but still awesome) in the real world. It's kinda supposed to be comical.

DCWeddingPhotog -- I'm not sweating it. I think you know that. :-P

Nicole D -- Darlin', you make me want to move to Canada. And you hit it on the head. I have an offbeat sense of humor that people tend to really love or absolutely hate. In fact, this separated one from the other so quickly and easily that I'm considering turning it into a personal ad. :-)

Work in Progress -- Thanks! I was quite a fan of your "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" post... I may have had the same problem myself.

AsianLetteryFriend -- A-friggin-men!

DCVita said...

I think the post was cute. I really enjoy your blog. If anything, your confidence is extremely attractive. Hmm....maybe I'll email you ;)

Suz said...

Cute. You can obviously laugh at yourself. But when I read your other posts, I don't think you're entirely over your ex. You can look for the "Wow!" factor, it just not be the same "Wow!" that you're expecting. Keep at it, though.

Jo said...

Love your blog and great point about the friends of friends, that's how I've always met dates/boyfriends. Not that you care for advice from random people, but I see the other commenter's points about the cocky-ness. The way you describe yourself at times does seem like you're a great catch, but maybe you come across as too forward on dates perhaps?

LMNt said...

DCVita -- Glad you like it. Maybe you should... I'm a cutie. ;-)

Suz -- I don't expect the "wow" to be the same feeling as it was with anyone I've dated, but I do expect the "wow" to happen at some point. When I find the right girl, it will.

Jo -- I may be too forward as in I don't mince words and if I'm interested, I make that clear. I don't really talk about myself on dates, though -- I figure they'll figure out for themselves whether they think I'm a catch or not. If they don't, there's plenty of other women who will, right?

mer said...

Well at least your only 27 and still single. Try 37. Its been a year and a half for me and I have not made it past a few dates. I was in love with my ex and still am even though he turned out to be a real creep. Its hard to let go sometimes to the pain and the illusion.