Non Negotiables -- Part 2

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a passionate guy. I'm also pretty damn affectionate -- I love kissing, touching, sex, holding hands, good foreplay, cuddling (hold on... yes, my man-parts are still intact. Had to check after saying I like cuddling) and so on. So it's pretty important to me to be with someone who finds the all the physical aspects of dating as key as I do.

Let me give you a little bit of background here. My parents have been married over thirty years, and they have possibly the best relationship I've ever been exposed to. They love each other very much and know each other well enough to use their individual strengths and weaknesses together in the best ways possible for both of them. When my mother is having a rough time emotionally (which happens when women are in "the change" age range, and we've had a rough year as a family due to deaths and illnesses and such), my dad is strong and supportive. When Dad's work is crazy and he's stressed out, Mom takes over anything that needs to be done so he can unwind and de-stress. They take care of each other when they're sick. They still flirt and banter together, and they're still very affectionate. When they pass each other in the kitchen, they'll stop for a kiss, a hug, or Dad will playfully slap Mom's ass. They still have sex (don't ask how I know... it's a disturbing story involving overhearing noises from their bedroom when I was visiting and they hopefully didn't realize I was still up). They truly are best friends and partners in (and for) life, and honestly, I think the shining example they've given me has ruined me for most women in a way.

They have what I want someday. When I'm in my fifties, I still want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie cuddled up with the woman who's shared my joys and sorrows for decades. I want to hold hands when we're out. I want to go on dates and have projects we work on together, while being able to pursue our own interests as well. I want to still sleep holding each other. I want both of us to have a great relationship with each other's families, so much so that the distinctions go away and it's all "our" family. To respect each other and put make each other's needs a top priority. And definitely, to keep all aspects of physical affection as strong as they've always been.

What I definitely don't want is to be one of the frustrated men who post on craigslist every day about how all affection disappeared in the first few years after they got married. While I'm very big on choosing the right woman and never getting divorced, that would be one of the few situations where I'd consider it. It's right up there with cheating, lying, or physical violence.

So I guess the real non negotiable here is love, and the commitment to keeping the fire going. I'm sure it's not always easy, but if I can be totally committed to it with the right person, I don't see a reason to expect any less from them. Fair enough?