Don't Talk to Strangers?

It never ceases to amaze me when I hear someone complain that they're single and unhappy with it, but they're not out actively trying to be a social person. They sit at home when they're not at work, maybe they've got a profile online somewhere, but they don't really make an effort to bring new people into their lives.

If you want to be surrounded by fun, interesting people, you have to be a fun and interesting person yourself. You also have to meet a lot of them. I believe in making an effort to become a people magnet. Not just for cute girls, but people in general. I'm the guy who talks to the person behind me in line at the checkout or asks someone in the bookstore if they like the one they're reading. I flirt with cashiers and befriend waiters or waitresses. In short, I try to be an outgoing, friendly person.

The thing is, you never know where you're going to meet a really fun new friend or date. That frazzled woman at the grocery store who's trying to figure out how to tell if a mango is ripe? Her eligible brother could be perfect for you. The guy at the bar rooting for the opposing team? He could be your new workout partner or best friend. He may also be having a killer party on Saturday night.

Seriously, if you look at the people around you in your daily life as friends you haven't met yet, the world becomes a better place. Sure, sometimes someone is having a bad day and/or more afraid of strangers than the average, and you get a bad reaction. But in general, humans are social creatures -- we're pack animals -- and most people are pleasantly surprised when a friendly stranger starts a conversation. We all like the attention. Most of these brief interactions don't lead anywhere, but every once in a while you run into someone who you really have a ton in common with and make a cool new friend (or sometimes more).

Everybody's got a bit of an introverted side. I used to be a loner to the extreme. I think it starts when we're little and "don't talk to strangers" is pretty damn important. We're also pretty terrified of rejection in most cases. But the thing is, I realized that humans are happier when they're around others, and worked hard to overcome the attitudes that were holding me back. Now it's become habit -- I run my errands at the times when other people are doing the same, instead of trying to figure out when I can get in and out the fastest. If something interesting happens, I comment about it to the person next to me. When I see a girl I find attractive, I don't hesitate to say "Hi, how are you?" I try not to turn down social invitations whenever possible, even if I think I'm not in the mood. I'm usually in the mood by the time I get there, anyway. In short, I look for opportunities to interact with others.

Changing my outlook this way has done really great things for my social life, mood, and self esteem in general. Have any of you made the switch? How did it change your life?