How NOT To Ask a Girl Out...

My friend Kara was a blogger for a long time. She had a few blogs for a few years, and although they were never big in the DC blog scene, she definitely had a reader or two. Now that she's got a great guy and the rest of her life is wonderful, she's boring (Hi Kara! Love ya!), so she recently decided to retire her last remaining blog. The perfect boyfriend was one of the major discussion topics on the blog in the final few months, so it wasn't exactly a big secret.

Over the weekend, she got this email:

From: Douchebag Extraordinaire* (jackass @ xxxxx)
To: kara @ xxxxx
Subject: Hi Karen

glad to see a blog is over.. there are wayyy to many of them.. anyway just wondering if you want to add me to the guys you try to date on the web.. I live in [Suburb], work in [City], and would love to meet for dinner or lunch...

I also run a Scrabble group in [City] if you are a Scrabblista...

Douchebag Extraordinaire

Thanks

(*name changed to protect the guilty)

Now, I'd really love to go ahead and rip into this guy, but to be completely honest with you, Kara did it better than I ever could, so I'll just let her take over from here:

From: Cool Kara (kara @ xxxxx)
To: Douchebag Extraordinaire (jackass @ xxxxx)
Subject: Re: Hey Karen

Absolutely NOT. When will you get the hint? I'm pretty sure you're the same Douchebag Extraordinaire who has been emailing me occasionally on friendster and myspace for over two years. I have never responded to you because I have absolutely no interest. But I want you to know, now that you've emailed me directly, I'm blocking your address.

And, here's a few tips for you, out of the goodness of my heart. If you honestly expect to get a woman to go out with you, you might try:
- Getting her name right. I have never been a Karen.
- Not insulting blogs, when you were clearly on one she wrote for several years.
- Telling something about yourself, other than your location and desire to meet.
- Not asking a happily committed woman (which you could easily find out on Friendster, MySpace, or my blog) if she wants to add you to the guys she tries to date on the web. Patently offensive on many levels, from your arrogance to your ignorance and back again.
- Not email her every so often for OVER TWO YEARS, without ever getting a response, and thinking this time will be any different.
- Cleaning up your atrocious grammar and spelling. I'd mop the floor with you in Scrabble!

Thanks!

Kara

I really don't know what to say.... are people actually this stupid in real life or was this guy trying to be a troll and start some nastiness?

They say the definition of insanity is repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results, but I doubt this dumbass would get results even if he tried different things.

Morals of the story: 1) Don't be a douchebag and expect a woman to date you anyway. 2) If you're gonna try to ask out a girl you don't know, use the resources you have available to actually learn a thing or two about her and determine if you two would be a good match BEFORE you start typing.

I just don't know what to say. I'm stunned.