Ask LMNt -- February 23, 2007

A Little Jealous writes:

Hi,

My boyfriend's awful flirty with other girls when we go out. Is this a problem? I'm feeling a little jealous, and I don't know if I should be worried or not.

LMNT says:

Well, you haven't exactly given me a lot of information here, but I'll take a swing at it anyway. It seems like you're asking me if this is your problem and you shouldn't have a problem with it, or if it's his problem and you shouldn't trust him. And the short answer? That depends.

First of all, you should talk to him. Admit you're feeling a little jealous, and that you're not quite sure why. One conversation could resolve the whole thing if you leave it feeling more secure in his feelings for you.

Has your boyfriend given you any reason not to trust him? I'm a pretty outgoing guy, and I tend to flirt a lot, but when I'm with someone, I'm with them and there are no thoughts in my head about hooking up with someone else. If he's like me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about, and I'd suggest making friends yourself while you're out. He may be talking to some pretty interesting people you'd get along with quite well.

On the other hand, obviously not every guy views relationships in quite the same way as I do, and it's possible he's looking for a hookup on the side or maybe even the next girlfriend. Like I mentioned, you really haven't told me enough to be able to tell, so I'll just tell you what to look out for. Has he become more distant lately or made any significant changes to his lifestyle? Is he ever a little shady? Is he unavailable or hard to get a hold of at times when he shouldn't be? Does he make a lot of new female friends and hang out with them one-on-one? Is he very touchy-feely with the people he flirts with?

My first thought is that it's probably no big deal and he's just a friendly guy, but if you see red flags or warning signs, it could be different. Keep an eye out, and be smart -- don't be blinded by how you feel about him. On the other hand, don't go on a witch hunt if you have no reason to suspect anything other than he's just outgoing. There's nothing worse than dating someone who doesn't trust you but should, and that drives people away. If you're secure in yourself and you pay attention, this should all work out.


That's it for this week, folks. Don't forget to send your questions in to lmntalattraction (at) gmail (dot) com. I'll keep an eye out for'em.