Updated: So...
Life is really crazy right now. My work has gotten really busy, and the ol' social life is pretty eventful. In short, I've got a little too much on my plate at the moment, I'm feeling a bit burned out, and I'm gonna take a brief hiatus from the blog here. It may be a week, could be two, but I'll come back fresh and have lots of good stuff for you to read soon. Check back.
Update, 9:45AM:
So I've already gotten a few "why the break?" emails, and I'm assuming there are more coming. Well, you want an answer? You got it.
I'm re-evaluating my romantic philosophy.
You see, I live my romantic life based on the idea of not acting out of fear. That it's better to open yourself up to people, connect with them, and allow yourself to be vulnerable than it is to avoid making those connections out of fear of being hurt. What I'm realizing now, after a string of unpleasant events, is that there's a big problem with that philosphy -- if everyone else is going to act out of fear, the person who doesn't will get hurt every time.
If you've read much of this blog, you realize that I'm one of the most optimistic and idealistic people you'll ever meet. But there's an interesting dichotomy there. At the same time, I'm also one of the most jaded and cynical. Lately I feel like the cynic is winning. And that's not who I want to be. On the other hand, the idealist is getting beaten into a pulp, metaphorically speaking. I'm putting myself out there and losing, because other people are afraid. And while I understand that a great guy can be quite scary (great girls are, too), seeing situations repeatedly go south with people I care about for silly reasons is taking a toll on me.
I feel like it would be hypocritical to keep spouting the optimistic ideals when I'm feeling anything but, and I don't want this blog (or me) to become negative or bitter, so I'm taking some time to get my head on straight and figure out exactly how I want to handle budding romances in the future. You can rest assured that I'll be back in a week or two, and I'll be the same happy romantic y'all know and love, albeit possibly a bit more cautious. I'm just hitting the reset button on my brain at the moment.
It's tough feeling like a whole person in a damaged world, but I'd rather feel this way for a little while than succumb to it and become just another damaged, scared person. It's not who I want to be or how I want to live.
Thanks for listening. See you soon.
5 comments:
No one says you have to be all one side or the other. The fact is that you're both sides of that coin. You can't be an optimist 24/7. No one can and no one should think any less of you if you fired off a post that was...well...negative. That's life.
Hope you'll be around tonight. I get a lot of what you vaguely reference and I'd like to see you pick your chin up and come have a cocktail. Your one of the good people in this odd blog world, and a lot of us know that.
For whatever it's worth, I second the last statement. None of us are perfect, and if we were, life would be a pretty boring place. I hope you feel better soon, but am also sure that you'll bounce back pretty quickly. :)
Hope that you're able to find a happy balance this week, and look forward to your return.
The thing about optismtic people is that they re-charge kind of quickly. The hope becomes stronger than the negative experiences. But, it's also good to just vent; venting doesn't make you into a pessimist. The decision to not put yourself out there in the real world is the demarcation. chin up.
I like what redhead said... I think it's very true. Hang in there!
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